Empty Spaces
by iLive iBreathe iCarly
Summary: It's almost been a month since everything, the accident, suicide attempt, realizing who she's truly in love with. The pain is still there, even with her dating Freddie she still feels alone, will she lose him too? Seddie.
1. Chapter 1

**It Was Just a Dream **

**Vwa la here it is a Seddie story! By me! **

"My fellow friends and family we gather here today for the home going of Jeanette Puckett. She was a daughter, a wife and a mother; she came into this beautiful world August 2, 1975 and sadly left April 10, 2010. She will be missed-" he continued to read but I didn't listen, the only thing I have is gone. I didn't have an umbrella the rain dropped on my head heavily as he spoke. I cried and rain smacked my forehead, so this is it huh?

"Sam I'm sorry." Carly comes from behind Freddie I throw my arms around her. I fiercely cry I choke tears out, I can't breathe my face is hot.

"We love you and miss you, goodbye Jeanette," they bury her; everyone starts to peal back into their cars. Carly walks away with spencer everyone leaving me.

I cry harder than I have ever cried in my entire life, I stand in the rain yelling in pain. The rain falling harder, lightening and thunder cracking in the sky. I try to stop crying and breathe but I can't. Then I see Freddie walking towards me.

"Sam," Freddie puts his arm around my shoulder and guides me to his car. I step inside he puts my crutches in the backseat. The crying doesn't stop, I feel dizzy, and lightheaded I close my eyes and let my head hang over my lap.

"Sam," Freddie says again shaking me "Sam!" he says louder. I look up and blink my eyes tears slowly rolling.

He drives away into the traffic, stuck for about fifteen minutes; he drives out of traffic onto the freeway. Everything is going fine- I've stopped crying my headache is going away I feel so much better.

"Sam I love you," he says

"I love you t-" before I can finish a large gas truck slams into our car Freddie slams on the breaks the car spinning out of control into the truck, we are flipped over. Blood is everywhere I grab Freddie's shoulder but he's dead. I start to cry. The truck shoots up in flames and it inches closer and closer. I try to get out but my cast is stopping, I scream but nothing happened, the fire is already burning the car it gets very hot then…

I wake up quickly in Freddie's apartment on his couch. I sit up panting, its dark, and his tiny apartment dark only showing a small light from outside. I see a paper on his coffee table in front of the couch. It shows a recent accident, I push it off the table angrily. I swing my legs in front of the couch I grab hold of the couch to stand then a chair, my broken leg avoiding me properly to stand up. I almost fall but quickly grab something, very warm. I look up to see a person, I jump back an almost fall when Freddie catches me.

"Sam are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I say.

"Here," he hands me my crutches.

"Thanks," I murmur. I use them to get to the door. "Can you take me home?"

"Sam its 2am I'll bring you in the morning."

"Whatever. I'll walk besides it's not that far anyway!" I yell.

"Sam I'll bring you first thing, I promise." I turn around.

"I'm leaving now. Okay," I say loudly I open the door. I'm in so much pain.

"I'll take you," he grabs his keys

"We drive for about five minutes to reach my dorm. He drives very slowly, knowing about my recent fears on cars. He reaches my apartment the lights shine yellow outside. The grass reflecting from the moon.

"I had another dream, Freddie." I say before I get out of the car. He grabs my hands from the drivers' side. Stopped in front of my dorm hall.

"Sam it's going to be okay."

"It felt so real, I felt as if I relived the whole moment, Freddie!"

"Babe," he says in a breathy voice and hugs me.

"I'm sorry for yelling," I rub my hands through his brown hair.

"Its fine okay, you screamed in you're sleep that's actually why I came down. I figured you had another dream, you seem restless."

"I haven't slept normal in weeks Freddie,"

"Come back, you can have the bed," he smiles, the smile I used to hate.

"Or what?" I ask just to be difficult.

"I'll get you," he pretends to throw a punch.

"Freddie no matter what has changed I can still kick you're butt," I most definitely can't actually.

"I want too, but I'm going to stay here for the night, I need to think for a bit," I open my door before he can, I hate when people think they have to open every door or do everything thing is I'm just as capable. Well barely with this cast, he still has to come around and help me out of the car.

I use my key to get into the apartment lobby he follows along we step into the elevator. I melt my body into to his tired and worn out I could probably fall asleep just like this. We reach my floor and I kiss him.

"Goodnight," I smile I kiss him again. A door opens.

"Sam, Freddie, hey," my roommate Jessica sticks her wet head out of her room, wearing a towel, Samantha I was wondering if you were coming home tonight," she laughs "I need to talk when you get a minute," she shuts the door.

"Call me," Freddie says then kisses me again this time longer than before.

"I love you," we share a quick kiss then depart. I walk into our messy room covered in pink, purple and clothes.

"Having a little make out scene aren't you?" Jessica squeals.

"He's amazing," I throw my bags down on my bed.

"Then why are you here? Shouldn't you be with him?"

"I need to think Jess," she walks over and hugs me.

"It's okay Samantha,"

"Thanks," I reply. "Speaking of which why are you here?"

"Went to a party but had beer dumped on me, I got pissed of I couldn't drink anyway e an interview tomorrow, I would have to take a million hangover reliefs, so I left, headed to Calvin's right now though."

"Oooohhhhh Calvin, how is he?" I smirk.

"Good so very good," she winks and pulls on some sweats and a tank top then grabs her large Victoria's Secret bag says goodbye and heads out.

I lay down on my bed sitting for a while thinking, I hid the old Sam. The old Sam would never wear makeup, cheer, or even date Freddie. I hated my past I threw everything away even eating meat I changed completely. I saw my future in my mother and hated it, I didn't want to always hurt like she did so I did something new. In eleventh grade I knew I needed to go to college and have a new beginning so I turned everything around.

I tossed and turned a couple of times until I was finally fast asleep.

**Endnotes **

**How do you like? I have had that idea for a while now but I root for Creddie (sorry people) I've been asked to write Seddie and I always said no. However, I spoke with someone on Twitter (not sure if they would want me to put their name up) but they convinced me to write a Seddie story. Here it is folk's hope you enjoy, as always read, smile, and review! ~Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Forever and Always **

I turned a page in my physics book; I have the most trouble in physics it doesn't line up too me. Ugh where is Freddie when you need him. My laptop sits on my lap while SpongeBob blares from my TV. Okay I can do this I can do this, I think trying as hard as I can to understand it. My Skype ringtone goes off- an incoming call from iCarly. I hit answer with video and her face appears on the screen.

"Carly!" I almost want to hug my screen.

"Sam hey I miss you so much," she smiles her very nice apartment showing in the background. Carly goes to M.I.T, she was accepted to UCLA, but only Freddie and I decided to go here.

"I tried calling you like five thousand times." I say as I see her reach over and grab a couple papers and school necessities.

"I'm swamped, the work here is so hard," she says making a dreadful face.

"Oh my gosh yea!" I grab my physics book, "I have so much trouble working out of this stupid thing." Her face lights up and she pulls hers out also.

"Me too," she says her book looking a lot more advanced than mine.

"I hate how Freddie is just so good at it; he comes over and makes it look so simple." I smile at the thought of Freddie.

"Speaking of which- how are you guys?" she squeals looking as if she just jumped from her seat.

"Were good, he has been helping me a lot, I'm having a little bit of difficulties." My face changes at the thought of it.

"Sam I'm so sorry, listen I really have to go, but were still on for spring break right?" she says grabbing a black briefcase, she stands up and I notice her suit that she has on.

"Its fine and yes- were still on."

"I love you, hug Freddie for me." She says putting on her glasses; I notice her hair is wrapped into a bun she seriously looks like a lawyer.

"Love you too, bye," the call ended noise sounds and I remove my laptop from my lap and try a shot at physics again. Every call with Carly lasts about five minutes- I really miss her she was the only reason I kept on going. My cell phone rings interrupting my thoughts. Dad.

"Hey dad," I say cheerfully into the phone. Every call I got I was grateful for considering he couldn't call much.

"Hey sweetheart," he says happily into the phone. "Were still on for dinner tonight? No change of plans I'll be there" His current city is Seattle; fortunately, he travels a lot and has a studio in California.

"Yes of course, I have no other plans."

"Awesome," he says trying to sound hip and he was failing, epically.

"Are you here yet?" I ask hoping he's already here; he has cancelled many times not being able to make it here on time.

"Yea I am no need to worry, I'm just leaving the airport. I'll call you later; you better get your jock boyfriend to come along." Jock? I think to myself, I guess.

I hear a knock on the door as I end my conversation with my father. I put on phone on the coffee table in front of me and yell come in, figuring it's someone from down the hall. The door slowly creaks open. I listen but hear nothing. I get scared instantly, is someone trying to kill me?

"Hello," I call out turning my head the other way.

"Rawwwwr!" someone jumps from behind tackling me from the back.

"Aaahhhh," I yell honestly scared. I don't even need to turn around and see Freddie I can smell his cologne. "Oh my god I'm going to kill you." I say in a joking manner giggling.

"Ha-ha! It worked," he says.

"What possessed you to do that?" I smack with playfully on his side.

"Because I love you," he says hugging my back.

"Aw I love you too hun,"

"Let's get going," he says jumping up and grabbing my hands to get up with him.

"Ugh where Freddie I want to stay here." I say whining.

"We would but you scheduled you're doctors appointment on a Saturday, so I'm stuck taking you." He says grinning.

"Oh I forgot,"

"Yea now get up turn off SpongeBob and get on some clothes, not that you don't look sexy in those shorts," he says tugging at them. I smack his hand.

"Yes mom," I say giggling then using my crutches to get to my room.

"Mom's won't say that about their daughters," he protests "Well at least they shouldn't."

"You're crazy Freddie," I say smiling as I stand up and grab my crutches.

"Crazy in love," he says reaching out to me as I hobble away.

"Samantha Puckett- Schakowsky?" the doctor asks as he flips through my file.

"Yes." I say sitting up high on the papered leather bench.

"Well good morning!" his whole face lights up his cheeks very rosy. "I'm doctor Santos!" the white haired doctor smiles very widely.

"Hi!" I say just as thrilled in a mocking tone. "I'm Samantha How are you?" I stick my hand out so he could shake it, but he doesn't.

"I'm great I'm great!" His smile widened though I thought if it did one more time his jaw would break. "I love your enthusiasm," he throws his hands up dramatically. "Can I call you Sam?" so many problems came with Sam. Sam was unmannerly, Sam hated Freddie, and Sam was troublesome. I smile at him.

"Just call me Samantha." I say feeling very awkward. He grins back at me.

"Okay Samantha!" he winks. "Let's get started!" This dude really needs to take a chill pill.

"Hun, a couple of my frat bros are having a party tonight and I was wondering if we could uh-go?" he's almost pleading to go. "It'll be so much fun Sam," he says as we walk from the doctors' office, well me actually doing more of a hobble.

"You promised dinner with my father tonight." I say a hint of anger in my voice.

"Oh I'm so sorry you're right sweetie," he grabs my hand just before we get outside.

"Look, I really don't want to ruin you're partying, so you can go, okay?" I say in a soft voice putting my hand on his cheek.

"No, Sam, remember I made a promise?" he asks looking out into the sunny afternoon.

Sam. The name rung in my head. He was the only one that could say Sam without the feeling that would run through my body. He didn't wait for an answer but continued.

"I'll always be with you -forever and always."

**Endnotes**

**Okay yes very sappy but very cute. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I deeply apologize for that! Well anyway, please read, favorite, and review! ~Thanks. **

**P.S. **

**I really hope that didn't suck too much, its just a filler chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three **

"I hate these crutches!" I yell as I toss them across the room. I instantly try to grab on something for support, Freddie grabs me before I fall, we both burst out laughing.

We had just gotten back from very early dinner with my dad, who apparently he had a meeting at 5:30 so we had to hurry up and meet.

"I guess we can go to that party now." Freddie says handing me my crutches.

"I guess." I say old Sam came in my head again; I try to shake it away.

"Only if you want." He says putting his arms around my waste. I shake it all away and think about having fun.

"I know that." I joke "and I want to, I think I'll have fun, I'm game if you are." I say pushing the thoughts in the back of my head.

"Awesome, I think Jay and Amy want to go together,"

"I can't stand Amy, she's on the cheer team, I swear she's just a jealous hoe. I want to jack slap the chiz out of that girl she's so annoying." I say laughing. I could feel the old Sam coming back, with all her complications and hastiness.

"Once she fell and I know she planned on falling on me but I moved and she hit the floor," Freddie says joining me in my laughter. I quickly compose myself trying to act like a new person.

"So like what am I gonna wear?" I ask trying to be the girl with the cute light fluffy attitude, that girl that Freddie liked.

"Um I think they said casual cute dress, you girls seem to know everything about that." He jokes, a sheet of uneasiness falls in the room, Freddie knows I'm not one of those girls but he's playing along anyway.

"I'm going to invite Jessica," I say breaking the silence grabbing my phone and texting her.

"Hey guys!" Jessica says loudly as Freddie lets her in the apartment "Samantha!" she says giving me a bear hug.

"Jess!" I say putting on my girly act and hugging her back.

"Ohmygod! I got the cutest dress and its zip up so it won't get stuck!" she said pulling a black dress out of a large shopping bag. "Hi Freddie!" she says as we go upstairs.

"Yo," he says back from the couch as he's watching TV. We go upstairs, I change into the dress and we start doing hair and makeup.

"You're so lucky." She says as she flats irons my hair, curling it.

"Me? Why?"

"Because you have a good boyfriend and you're so pretty, you're head cheerleader, and people like you." She says moving to do the other side of my head.

"Oh come on, you have a good boyfriend, everybody likes you, and you're better than me at cheering trust me." I say smiling, inside I wasn't.

"Calvin is good in bed and that's it, I heard the girls talking about me in the locker rooms and no I'm not!" she says sitting the flat iron on the counter. I didn't know what to say; normally I would say something totally crazy and wild when I was giving Carly advice and if I told that to Jessica she might think I'm insane.

"Um," I had no idea what to say when Freddie walked into the open bathroom door.

"Come on girls Amy and Jay are here," he stares at me "Sexy." He breathes in a breathy tone whispering in my ear after he grabs my hand and we walk down stairs.

"Samantha!" Jay says in his Latino accent as I walk down stairs he throws his arms up. I think that's another reason Amy hates me, because Jay is always so happy to see me.

"Hi guys." I say happily Amy sneers and I sneer back at her. Jessica and Amy give each other the cold shoulder so she didn't even acknowledge her.

"Alright let's go!" Freddie says noticing the hate between the three of us.

The party is in full swing when we get there the frat guys sure know how to throw a party, I told Freddie to go off and I would hang with Jess, but instead I pretended to lose her in the people and sat at a table sipping my non-alcoholic drink. My mind began to wonder looking at all the people who seemed to love partying, something I find hard to do.

_I walked into the house, I had been so angry at my mom today she pissed me off! I hated moving from city to city never having any friends always being that tomboy girl that used to get talked about in the bathrooms. Well tonight I wasn't taking it any longer, she was always out and doing "her thing" well now I was doing mine. _

_I ran off with my Carlos a boy I had met he was working at a gas station and he told me I was pretty and that if he had a girl like me he would treat her right. He found me sitting in the corner of the "Snack Stop" area crying. My mom was pumping gas and it was the first week I had been in Detroit, I hated it here, everything was so ugly, at least where we lived. I always begged her to stay downtown but she just laughed and said we didn't have the money. _

"_You're too pretty to be so sad." He said lifting my face up with his hand. Carlos was Spanish and he had the cutest accent ever, I thought it was love at first sight. _

"_Sam! Get you're butt in this car!" my mom said opening the door then letting it slam while she remained outside. We both scrambled to our feet. _

"_Give me a call," he says handing me a scrap of paper. I balled it up and shoved it in my dirty pants pocket; I smiled the rest of the night patting the pocket with the number in it. _

_:::: _

_Before I left I went to my bed, lifted the mattess, grabbed the paper, ran down from our old ugly apartment, and used the pay phone down the street to call him. He answered on the first ring. _

"_Carlos speakin" he said into the receiver. I didn't say anything I suddenly got scared. "Hello, hello?" he said his accent sounding so cute. _

"_It's me, Sam." Everyday after I had first met Carlos I went to the gas station, my mom had never noticed until because she was never there. _

"_Ahh Sammyyyy how you doin baby?" he said smoothly into the phone. _

"_I'm good." I said smiling as I gripped the phone. "Remember that party you invited me to, I changed my mind, I think I wanna go now." _

"_That's my baby! I be up there to pick you up, me and a couple of my homies k?" _

"_Okay." I said. After I hung up I walked back down to my apartment and went straight to my mom's room. I grabbed her 5-inch heels and a tight black dress with a short jean jacket. I curled my hair, with her curlers and, and used her makeup. I didn't really know how to put it on but I watched her do it enough to imitate her and get it down pack. As soon as I heard the loud music I left, locking the door and running down the stairs as fast as I could in heels. _

"_My girl look sexy!" Carlos said from the drivers seat, as I got in and sat next to his friend, everybody called him T.J. the hydraulics bumped up and down as music blared from the loud speakers. I remember an Eminem song playing, I don't remember the song but the whole time it kept talking about cracking bottles. They were all laughing and joking but I stayed put and until we reached the house. _

"_Oye Carlos my man!" I guy said as Carlos got out the car they did some kind of hand shake thingy then I walked up beside Carlos. _

"_This my baby Sammy." He said introducing me to one of the guys, his friend gave me this look then made a slight growl when Carlos wasn't paying attention. _

_We walked into the dingy old house and there was smoke everywhere and it smelled like alcohol, fortunately there were lots of other girls so I wasn't alone. _

_I followed Carlos around not really knowing what to do, he smoked, he talked, he drank, and he couldn't manage to keep his hands to himself. It didn't matter much, Carlos loved me right? I liked it, I felt like I was part of some secret gang or something. _

"_Hey baby, lets go in here and uhh talk." He says leading me to a room that looked dingy and only had a dresser and a bed. _

"_Okay." I say following behind him. We walked in and he shut the door behind us._

"_I love you sammy!" he said taking my jacket and tossing it on the dresser, he starts to kiss my neck, his hot breath sending shivers down my body. _

"_ME too!" I trailed my hands up and down his muscular back. I take off his shirt and gradually let myself fall onto the bed. _

_**::::::~**_

_Minutes passed, maybe even hours, I had lost track of time, I had lost my dress, my clothes, and even my virginity. It felt good; at least I thought it did. _

"_Baby," Carlos touched my bare skin I melted into his body. "I love you!" he says and I slowly start to drift to sleep, my eyes got uneasily heavy and my vision started to blur, slowly I fell into a deep sleep. _

_**::::::~**_

_My eyes shot open, as pain surged through my body, how long was I out? I was being tossed and thrown around, my clothes were missing and I couldn't see a thing due to a blindfold covering my eyes. I heard men cheering something and yelling obnoxious sexual things, I started to panic but I couldn't move or do anything. I try to scream but I'm gagged. I whimper in pain as I feel someone grab onto me. Then it all fit together, I was being raped! _

**Endnotes**

**Some dark past ehh? Well sorry if its too bad but I have plans for this story so bear with me now, its been a while since my last update, I apologize, forgive me. Hope, you enjoy this chapter and I will post the next one next week if I get good reviews! **

**~iLiveiBreatheiCarly~**


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